3/05/2018

White Supremacists Are Just So Fucking Dumb (Florida Teacher Edition)

Your average white supremacist shitbag might be able to come up with a clever tweet, a threat to stab you in the heart and rape the hole, ha, ha, punctuated with a frog or a caricature of a hook-nosed Jew or a Molon Labe (whatever the fuck that is, and, no, I'm not fuckin' looking it up). But when it comes to functioning in the real world, you know, outside a gathering of like-minded shitbags, the almost brazen stupidity of even the most highly-regarded racists becomes perfectly clear. And, frankly, while there are some scary-looking motherfuckers in their movement and violent motherfuckers who shoot up places, sometimes, it can be pretty goddamn sadly comical.

Take, for instance, the middle-school teacher in Crystal River, Florida (motto: "We're poor, but at least we're not Bonifay poor"), Dayanna Volitich, who, like just about everyone else in the United States, has a podcast. Except hers is called Unapologetic, and its subject is how awesome white people are and how fucked up other races are. Oh, Volitich cleverly disguised her name to "Tiana Dalichov." Now one thing you learn when you're in education and you have some, let's say, controversial or profane political opinions that you may express online in some form is that you leave that out of the classroom. Don't shit where you eat.

But no one told Volitich that little lesson, so on her podcast, she brags about teaching her students racist shit and then pretending that she didn't when the administration would visit her classroom. She even says that she told the kids to be cool about how she behaves differently if the principal comes by. She and her co-host even talk about having separate schools for white children. This is in a district that is 90% white. She pretty much does teach in a school for white children, but I guess it's not pure enough. The other fun thing she does in the podcast is brag about her support for Russia and Vladimir Putin because of course she does. She says it's because she's Russian. I'm part Russian. Fuck Putin.

Volitich issued a statement on Friday, and you'll never guess her defense. You'll never fuckin' guess. She said it was satire and she was just playing a character: "I employed political satire and exaggeration, mainly to the end of attracting listeners and followers, and generating conversation about the content discussed between myself and my guests."

Jesus fuckballs Christ, conservatives wouldn't know satire if it bit them on the nipple and screamed, "I'm satire!" 'Cause, see, if it's satire, it's gotta have some kind of point other than "Racism is awesome." If you listen to any of the other episodes of Unapologetic, like the one where Volitich-as-Dalichov says she sees Islam as supporting violence or the pair of episodes where she praises an even more blatant racist author. And, pro-tip, if you're playing a character, you might not wanna make that character a teacher.

Volitich has been suspended as the school investigates. Irony of ironies is that, for the host of Unapologetic, Volitich was pretty quick to apologize to her family: "I humbly ask for forgiveness, as it was never my intention to cause them grief while engaging in a hobby on my personal time."

Look, I buy that she was doing this on her "personal time." The problem, as I've said, is that she decided to make it about the kids in her classroom. She decided to talk about how she was indoctrinating them and deliberately deceiving her supervisors. There are lots of teachers with lots of appalling points of view. Hell, a lot of teachers probably voted for Trump and love him grabbin' pussy. A bunch of 'em probably like porn about rock-hard, uncut "teen" jocks who love to fuck their teachers. Leave it at home. Once you say you're bringing it into your class, you involve parents and administrators in your "hobby," and it ain't a hobby anymore. It's who the fuck you are.

And it's fucking dumb. She's 25. She can be a better person. She can learn to push this bullshit out of her. But I'm not holding my breath.

(Note: the online insult war between racists and anti-racists over this degrades all of us.)